


Stop the war, I want to get off

by meaghann



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cheesy, Fluff, M/M, Vacation, the boys need a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:20:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26451748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meaghann/pseuds/meaghann
Summary: The boys need a break and Dean decides on a trip to the beach.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 21





	Stop the war, I want to get off

Dean had never really appreciated the size of the bunker until he had to track down a missing angel. He hadn’t seen Castiel since lunch and it was now 11:30 pm and Dean was worrying. Since becoming human, Castiel had a tendency to hole up in his room for hours, or disappear into the bowels of the bunker doing his own thing. He avoided talking to Dean or Sam and Dean wasn’t even sure if the former angel was eating.

Finally giving up, Dean headed to the kitchen. He pulled out the makings of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He made a stack of sandwiches, grabbed a bag of potato chips and stuck two beers in his jacket pockets. He balanced the plate of sandwiches in one hand, chips in the other hand and went to the only place that Castiel could be, the roof. Manoeuvring onto the roof was a bit of a chore, but he finally managed to put the plate and chips down next to his friend, who was laying out staring at the sky. Castiel was completely different in a pair of Dean’s jeans and an old band shirt. Jimmy Novak’s suit and trench coat had deteriorated rapidly after there was no more grace to mend his clothes. Dean didn’t examine too closely how possessive he felt to see Castiel in his clothes.

“Hey buddy, I haven’t seen you around for hours. You didn’t eat dinner and I got worried.”

Castiel sat up on his elbows and smiled at Dean, but it was a quiet sad smile.

“I was watching the stars and thinking.” He saw the food then. “I do forget to eat. I’m not used to having to. Thank you for bringing me sandwiches.”

They munched quietly for a few minutes with Dean’s beers opened next to them. Dean took a sip and leaned back.

“You know you can talk to me, right Cas? I know I come off a bit crass sometimes, but I’ll listen.”

Castiel didn’t answer right away, so Dean just sipped his beer and watched the stars overhead. It was strange to have this down time, but good too. He started thinking about how nice it was to take care of his little family and how he wanted to do more of that. He wanted more of something else he couldn’t quite get a grip on. He wanted dinners together, but he also wanted nights of movies on the couch and he even thought about going on a road trip with Cas and Sam to see the ocean. He was picturing Cas in shorts when his friend spoke in the darkness, his higher pitched voice still strange to Dean.

“I don’t want to hunt. I was trying to decide how to tell you. I thought you would be disappointed and I would have to leave. I can leave of course and find something for myself…” Castiel’s voice choked on the last part of the sentence and Dean grabbed Castiel by the wrist and Castiel turned to look at Dean.

“Cas, no. I know I’ve been a dick in the past, but this is your home now. I promise. For as long as you want, I swear. I don’t care if you want to hunt or not. You’ve done enough. We all have.” Dean sat back shocked at himself. Had they all done enough? That thought had never occurred to him before, but now it lodged in his brain. Castiel was shaking and Dean, more bold in the dark, pulled his friend in for a hug. Dean realized Castiel was crying and he just hugged him tighter, trying to be the best friend he could.

“I just don’t know what to do,” Castiel sobbed, “I used to be a warrior, feared and respected by many. Now I’m dressed in cast off clothes, I have no purpose and I have no way to contribute. I want to be useful.” Eventually his tears dried up and Dean sat back as Castiel straightened up and wiped his eyes. 

“I appreciate your clothes Dean, don’t mistake my complaint. I think I got overwhelmed.”

“I know, it’s ok. I didn’t know you felt this way, man. I mean I knew something was up, but I didn’t realize what was going on.” Dean sat silently for a bit longer trying to figure out the thoughts zinging through his head.

“What if we talked to Sam and took a break? Went on a road trip to somewhere, maybe where we can see the ocean?”

“Could we?”

“Yeah, I think we should. Let’s go back inside and find Sam” said Dean.

Even with the late hour, Sam was in the library with a book in front of him, but looking closer, Dean realized that it was fiction instead of research. He grinned, happy that the big nerd was easing off a bit. He sat at the table and leaned forward on his elbows, Castiel sitting to his left.

“Sam, Cas and I were talking and what do you say to a road trip? Just head out and find a shack by the ocean, grill meat and drink beer?”

The air in the room was tense, Dean didn’t know how Sam would take this sudden change, but he was hoping Sam would hear what he couldn’t say, that they needed a break before they flew apart and that maybe they needed a new plan. Sam closed his book and stared at Dean and Castiel in turn. 

“You’re right. We should take a break. Didn’t Rufus or Dad have a cabin on the west coast somewhere?”

“I’ll grab Dad’s journal” said Dean and he went off to get it. Sure enough John had a cabin he used that was north of Crescent City, California. It belonged to another Hunter, but apparently they just had to check in with them to get access. Everyone went to bed with a renewed sense of purpose, excited for a vacation.

The next day, Dean made a few calls and found Stu Gardner, who was happy to let them use the cabin. He was living in Washington state and didn’t get to it often. Apparently it had two small bedrooms, a stocked pantry and a deck that faced the beach. Dean was happily throwing clothes in his duffle bag when Castiel came in the room. He seemed uncomfortable, awkwardly wringing his hands.

“Dean, I uh, I don’t know what you wear to ‘vacation” Castiel said with air quotes. “I don’t have clothes for that I think.” 

“Before we get to the cabin, let’s go clothes shopping for you. You need your own things man. I’m sorry we didn’t do it sooner” said Dean. He felt bad that Castiel’s needs had been left to last and that Castiel felt like he couldn’t ask for things. Closing up his duffle, he gestured Castiel out of the room and they met up with Sam at the Impala. Dean kept the music down at first and kept his eyes open for the nearest big box store. Eventually a Walmart sign came along and he shifted into the exit lane for the mall. Once they parked he turned around to Castiel in the back seat.

“We’ll get some stuff here like shoes, since you want those new and a jacket and swim stuff, then we’ll hit up a thrift store for t-shirts and jeans, okay?” Castiel nodded and they headed in. The greeter welcomed them in and Dean went straight past the man, but Castiel went over to the older man and shook his hand.

“Thank you for welcoming me to your store. That is very kind. I am Castiel.” Dean grinned at the stunned expression of the greeter and they carried on. What Dean didn’t expect was that Castiel would be so stubborn about clothes. He tried on pair after pair of boots before picking the ones he liked and the same with running shoes. He debated between several pairs of shorts before Dean lost it and tried to head to the electronics and music section. He was stopped by Castiel’s hand on his arm and a squinty expression on his face. 

“I can’t pick these clothes by myself Dean. It is difficult to know what is correct.” Dean sighed and they went back to it. Castiel refused flannel, but he picked a black Carhatt jacket suspiciously like Deans, boots and a duffle bag of his own. Castiel left the store very pleased and Dean left him with Sam, who had got them some supplies for the cabin, and Dean went back in for a bit. He met them back at the car with a small bag that he handed to Castiel, who looked surprised.

“What is this Dean?”

“It’s a surprise, open it” said Dean. He fidgeted while Castiel poked in the bag and Sam gave Dean a funny look, that said he would try and talk to him later. Finally Castiel pulled out the box that had a new iPhone in it and another box with a pair of good wireless headphones. He looked a bit stunned and turned a beaming smile on Dean, who felt wrecked by that smile, but he smiled back.

“I thought you might like to find music you like and this has a good camera too, so you can take pictures of our trip, or whatever you want of course.”

“Dean this is, I’ve never had many presents, and well I really like this, thank you. You will have to show me how to do things with it,” said Castiel still smiling. Dean rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“Uhh Sam is better at that shit than me, but yeah. Let’s get on the road, huh?” They got back on the highway and Sam did indeed show Castiel how to search for music and they setup him up with Apple Music, so he could download and listen to as much as he wanted. Sam also showed Castiel basic camera functions and how to use the various edit commands and filters. Next was an Instagram account, when Castiel realized he could share his photos with friends like Charlie. He chose the name brokenwingedwarrior for his account and his profile picture was a flaming black wing. Dean had no idea where Castiel had found it, but it was cool. They stopped in a diner later in the day for dinner and Castiel seemed obsessed with uploading pictures to his account. He took pictures of the food, signs, the impala and he tried to take pictures of Dean and Sam, but Dean put his foot down.

“Fugitives, remember Cas? Hunters don’t want to draw attention to themselves.” 

They stopped again in a small town with a thrift store, and all of them found things. Dean found some new shirts and some paperbacks, Sam grabbed a pair of shorts and also found a few books. Castiel wandered around looking at everything, before he finally chose a CCR t-shirt and a bulking hardcover that Dean was curious to see. 

“What did you pick Cas?” Asked Dean.

“I heard Charlie and Sam talking about Stephen King and The Stand is supposed to be good. I’ve never tried a scary book, but I like the description.”

“That is a good one. It’s a bit grim, but epic and it has a road trip in it.”

Back on the highway, Dean played some CCR for Castiel who smiled at him from the back and Sam rolled his eyes violently at the sight. Dean flipped him off and Castiel was oblivious as he dug into his book. Finally, late that night, Dean stopped at a motel and went to get them a room. When he came back out, he stopped, looking at his best friend and his brother, both passed out, heads leaning against the windows and he felt good, happy. He liked having his family together. He took a picture with his phone and then woke up Sam, banging on the window and cackling at his face. For some reason that he wouldn’t look at, Castiel didn’t get the same treatment. He leaned in the other side of the back seat and gently shook his friend awake.

“Hey Cas, we’re here.” The former angel’s eyes opened slowly and he smiled at Dean, a soft small smile that made Dean’s insides do funny things. They settled into the hotel room, Sam taking one bed, and Dean and Castiel splitting the other one. They kept to their separate sides, but Dean still felt like Castiel’s presence was overwhelming him. He lay in the dark for what felt like ages listening to Castiel breathe, letting himself relax to the sound. 

Day three they finally arrived at the beach house, having to peer carefully to see the wood sign that Stu had said to look out for. Finally Sam called out and they turned down what Dean thought looked like a path rather than a driveway. With tree branches brushing the roof of the impala, they kept going until they emerged into a clearing with a small cabin perched right at the border between the grass and the sand of the beach. Almost before Dean was parked, Sam leapt out and started to look around. 

“Damn, Stu has a nice hideaway here” said Dean. Castiel joined him staring out at the ocean and his smile was back.

“This is wonderful Dean. Thank you for suggesting a vacation.”

“Sure Cas, you’re welcome. Let’s get the stuff inside and I’ll make us some burgers.” He raised his voice and Sam came around the side of the cabin. They had the bags and the groceries unloaded quickly and Dean started in on cleaning the grill out on the deck. Sam was puttering around salting the windows and doors and unpacking his duffle bag. Castiel took the time to at least put his duffle in the small room at the back of the house opposite the other two rooms. It looked out over the beach and held only a twin bed, dresser and a small wooden chair for a bedside table. Castiel unpacked his book and wandered out to where Dean was working. 

“Can I help with the dinner preparation?” Asked Castiel.

“Nah, I’m fine, just relax and I’ll have burgers on in no time. You could get me a beer though before you get comfortable?”

“Of course” and Castiel went back in to the little kitchen area near the front door. Sam had unpacked the cooler into the fridge and Castiel grabbed three beers. He leaned into Sam’s room.

“Sam, would you like a beer?”

Sam was reading a book, head leaned down and he looked up at Castiel’s voice. “Oh hey Cas, thanks yeah.” Castiel passed him the beer, but stood thinking a moment.

“Sam, I told Dean I don’t want to hunt. I don’t know what I want to do, but I hope you’re okay with me not helping in that way. I can do research though.”

“What brought this on?”

“Being human made me think about how short my life could be and I want to experience as much as I can. Hunting is dangerous and I don’t think I would be very good at it.”

Sam rolled his beer between his hands, and Cas wondered if Dean and him had talked through the idea of not hunting before. “Cas, you can do whatever you like. Dean and I won’t force you to hunt or whatever, and you would be very useful with research. Don’t worry about it, try and enjoy our time here.”

“Thank you Sam.” Castiel smiled at the younger Winchester and went out to Dean, who was laying the patties onto the grill and he finished before accepting the beer.

“Thanks Cas.” He nodded at the book. “You gonna read before dinner?”

“I am. I’m enjoying The Stand, it’s very entertaining.” 

With that he settled into a deck chair, opened his book and took a sip of beer and got lost in the world of Fran and Stu, Randall Flagg and Mother Abigail. The food was excellent and after one more beer and another chapter of his book, Castiel decided to walk down to the water. Dean stretched out in his deck chair, full of food and watched Castiel wander the beach. His mind cast forward into the future and tried to imagine them hunting as a trio. They had done it a few times, but now the image of a very human Castiel getting injured made Dean clench his teeth. 

“Dean? What’s up? You don’t look so good.”

“Sammy, what’s going to happen next? I mean, we just keep hunting? Keep putting ourselves out there? Cas doesn’t want to hunt and, I um, well I don’t want him to. He shouldn’t have to live our crappy life as his reward. Maybe he could get a job, get his own place, meet a cute girl. I don’t know.”

“I don’t know, we’ve just been so busy keeping going that I never really thought ahead. Well, I have, but it never seemed possible.”

“What did you think of?” Asked Dean, swinging around to better face his brother. “Come on, what dream have you been sitting on?”

“Well, I kept thinking that I could be a researcher, use the bunker’s resources to help other hunters, train those that need it and maybe take some courses too. I don’t know what you want to do, but I figured you and Cas might want something more hands on, like gardening and woodworking that sort of thing. You could stay here or you could find a place of your own. I wouldn’t stay here alone. If you left, I would find a little place of my own and come to the bunker when I need to.”

It was a few minutes before Dean responded. “You seem to lump Cas and I together. We’re not joined at the hip, man. He can go out into the world on his own.” Even saying that made Dean’s whole body stiffen with how much he hated the idea and looking at Sam’s face, he seemed to see right through Dean.

“Oh my god Dean, Cas isn’t going anywhere without you. He almost follows you everywhere . I think you and he should talk about what you want to do.”

“Uhh, yeah.” Dean’s brain had stuttered to a halt. Castiel liked him, he thought. The more he thought about it, the more Dean realized he didn’t hate the idea. He was surprisingly at peace with the idea. He had been through too much to worry about gender or that Castiel had been an angel. He figured Castiel knew what he was doing. Speaking of Castiel, the man himself came walking back, his shoes held in one hand, pants legs rolled up a bit, socks stuffed into the shoes. Suddenly Dean was a Victorian maiden, struck by the sight of Castiel’s ankles. He looked away as Castiel approached and sat down on the steps to the deck. Sam stood and started gathering the plates and beer bottles.

“I’ll get started on the dishes and then I’m going to go and read my new book” and then he was gone, leaving Dean and Castiel just sitting not looking at each other. The day was sliding into evening, the sun warm still, but the light was lengthening on the sand. Dean thought maybe that beside the butterflies inside him, he was having one the best days he could remember.

“Cas, umm, I hate this ‘can we talk’ stuff, but can we?” Dean squirmed at how hesitant he sounded, but Castiel smiled at him.

“Of course we can talk Dean, what do you want to talk about?”

“Uhh, well, we’ve been friends awhile and I always thought that was enough for me and it is really. Having a best friend is such a good thing, but Sam seems to think you might feel differently.”

No matter how relaxed he tried to feel on the surface, Dean was terrified that he had ruined everything, that Castiel would not understand, or that he would dismiss Dean as not worth his time. Castiel lifted himself off the steps and moved in front of Dean. He beamed at Dean, a smile that was warm and very human. He reached out and smoothed his hand over Dean’s cheek.

“Human emotions are often difficult for me. They seem too crude for the complexity of feelings to be expressed and sometimes there are so many emotions that I can’t follow the subtle interplay of them. But I know about love and I have happily loved you for years Dean.” Then to Dean’s amazement, Castiel leaned in and kissed him with confidence. Dean returned the kiss, feeling giddy and strange.

“Cas, man, I want you so much, I think I have for a while.” 

For two people so gone on each other, they didn’t do more than kiss and wrap up in each other’s arms. Sam came to the deck door a while later, and without disturbing the scene took a picture of the two heads in the Adirondack chair, silhouetted against the setting sun. He backed up quietly and left them to their new relationship. With a smile he txted Charlie:

\- you owe me twenty bucks!

\- dude, they got together finally, I’m impressed. Too bad I picked Halloween. Have fun guys!

With a sigh of happiness, Sam put away his phone and went to get ready for bed. As the house settled into late night quiet, Dean and Castiel came in holding hands and with whispers, Dean convinced Castiel sleep in the same bed, with a promise of just sleep and as Castiel lay his head on Dean’s folded arm, he felt as happy as he ever had. Dean slid into sleep with the presence of his best friend soothing and the sound of the ocean a gentle backdrop. They hadn’t solved the bigger issues about hunting, but together they could handle anything.


End file.
